Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Day 8 colors

My favorite color for Skylar is purple, it always reminds me of her, Also especially for her we loved the damask print print and pink. We have a blanket that was that coor made for her.

When Skylar was stillborn I got in contact with the wonderful lady who made her blanke. She made us a another one to match. She will never know how much this meant to us. She is on etsy and her shop is called bugaboo baby.  I will again say on her thank you do much for Skylar's special blanket.

Day 7

Where am I now with my grief.

I feel in the middle,  somedays I am good others bad. It does hit me more with having our rainbow daughter. I can see sometimes all the things Shelby can do that Skylar never got the chance to do.

Yet we will always love them separately and not to always see one for the other. I always picture holding two girls.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Day 6 Rituals

The only real ritual we have with Skylar is to go and visit her when we are near her spot. Wetry to bring balloon or flowers. We are going to send her balloon on her birthday and on the 18th of the month either visit her or send a balloon to her.

Day 5 Memory

My greatest memory of Skylar when she was born.

I remember the nurse around me crying and my husband on my right side. When she was born I asked the doctor to put her on my bare chest. I don't know if I asked or just patted my chest meaning I wanted her on me.mi remember our midwife Msrcia saying I wanted her chest to chest. I can still feel her warm body in my arms and how heavy she was.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Day 4

Skylar's legacy she left behind was, she thought me to love more, enjoy evey moment. You never know when it can be taken away.

I love twice on everything, one for me and one for Skylar.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Day 3 Myths

One of the biggest mthys on infant loss for me is.

You have other children,

Yes we do but that in no way can replace Skylar. She is a different person than our other children are. She would have had different intrest, friends and personality. I always wonder what she may have become. She would have been 16 months right now. I have no idea what a 16 month old would be doing.

We will always treasure our beautiful girl now and forever, just as we treasure our 7 other children.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Day 2

How our daughter got her name.

My pregnancy with Skylar was very different than my other 4 boy pregnancy,  I was a little more sicker with my girls than boys.

I always knew I would have a baby named Skylar. Our older girls have S names so it was only fitting all our girls will have S names.

We never really knew till Skylar was that she was for sure a girl. Our early ultrasounds and even 18 week ultrasound the midwife was not totally sure she was a girl. She said she saw no boy parts but it did not mean they were not there. Another ultrasound after the 18 week one showed our m9aybe girl still. Even at the hospital when they checked to see if she had was gone did not show because of her position.

We always loved the name Skylar I found the name Skylar means shelter. She was always sheltered so that makes me feel good. Her middle name came from my aunt Betty Jean who passed away at 18 in a car accident in May of 1974, Now she holds our Skylar Jean tillwe can all be together again. Also her Grandpa Wyatt holds her too.

Capture your grief Day 1

Since my picture is unwilling to cooperate I am going to tell about my pictur. It was of my black and white cat with our orange pumpkin.  Not excatly a sunrise but meaning ful all the same.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Capture your grief project

I have never participate d in the capture your grief project that Carly  Marie does but thiss year I am going to try. For the next 31 days I will be participating in this assignment. I will always miss our daughter and maybe this will help show more of my feelings about Skylar.

Friday, June 7, 2013


I have never added this to Skylar's space yet I think Skylar would be happy about this and would like to add this to her space. On May 26, 2013 we welcomed our newest addition and our special rainbow baby. Shelby Jean Wyatt, She was born at 5:18am and was 7lbs 2oz and 19 1/4 inch's long.

Shelby has her big sister middle name, We were not sure we were going to give her Skylar's middle name as we wanted her to have her own name. Yet when she was born at 5:18am Skylar's birthday is May 18 or 5/18/12 we decided to give Shelby Skylar's middle name.

There have been many hard moments along with the best moments. For me the hardest part is knowing our girls should be 1 year and almost 1 week apart. I think about all the sweet things a 1 year old should be doing. How Skylar should be doting on Shelby or seeing how they would get along. Yet we will never see that ever except in our minds. I still cannot open the bag we took to the hospital to have Skylar. I sometimes look at her little dresses she wore yet I cannot bring myself to get out somethings Shelby could use. They are Skylar's and we want to keep them for her. I am going to get another wubbanub for Shelby.

The one thing I wanted to do with our new baby is take her to meet her big sister. It was the hardest thing to do. The emotions were overwhelming, I just wanted my baby back and to know that is not possible is horrible.

With having a new daughter it makes me sad at times to see the clothes that were Skylar's that can't be used for we now use them for Shelby. You would think it would e good to see that her little sister can use them, Yet it is sad at times. i don't  mind using the newborn sizes as Skylar could not use them when she was born as she was a big girl at 8lbs 9.5oz.

I am happy Shelby can use them yet miss Skylar all the same. We always will miss no matter how many children we have. The grief is still here and some days is tough to deal with. Now we have someone to help lighten the dark days.

Now we learn to learn to live with life after loss. Something I wish no one had to learn.

We love you Big Sister Skylar our Angel

Friday, March 22, 2013

10 Months and 4 Days

I feel the need to add some older post it takes me a while to write anything. I will be adding more soon.

Today Skylar would have been 10 months and 4 days old.

Where did the time go?

Our precious baby girl, There is not a moment that passes we don't think of her. Some days I cry hard just thinking of how unfair it is she is not here with us. It is very hard to think what would she be doing at 10 months.

Would she be walking? or at least taking steps?

Of course she would be sitting up and playing with the other kids and having a lot of fun. I look everyday at my favorite picture of her. She is wearing the outfit she would have been brought home in. Instead that outfit is carefully tucked into the bag we brought to the hospital. We kept that outfit and every once and while when I feel like I need to, I grab out the little dress, hat and diaper cover and just try to smell the sweet little baby who once occupied it's space.

Skylar was buried in a little white and pink nightgown and her black, white and pink damask print blanket. She was carefully wraped up in her blanket by her Daddy and had to say the one thing no parent should ever say.


Even though 10 month has gone by we never forget our little girl, She is always with us no matter what.

The other day we went to her spot and made it up with her Easter goodies. Now it looks pretty for her. It is hard that is the only physical thing we can do for her. I wish Jesus would come back no and we could all be together.

Soon we all will be Jesus has our baby girl in his arms and who else could we ever ask for to tak ecare of our daughter till we get there. I am thankful everyday for the love he has given us. While we will always wish Skylar was here with us we know she will be there is heaven waiting for us.