The Feeling

I was remembering today the day Skylar was born. It was a beautiful day, Hot and Sunny, It would be the most prolific day of my life. A day that would change me to the very core of who I was and who I am to be. I got to hold a Angel that was delivered strait to heaven. I was blessed just to be Skylar's Mom.

I know sometimes my post are pretty depressing and I am trying to change that. I am happy that I got to spend 41 weeks with her, Getting to know and love her and seeing what a precious blessing she is.

I will still always long for her, Wanting to know who she would have become. Knowing when people look at my family they will see 6 children not the 7 that actually make up our family. Three girls and four boys.

I want people to know I have a baby girl who would have been three months Saturday. A child we longed and wanted so badly. Now she is only a memory, or some days feels like a dream.

I look at her pictures and see a beautiful girl, With a head full of dark hair and had tan skin like her big sister Sydney.

The other day while I was thinking about Skylar's birth, I was remembering holding our beautiful baby girl in my arms. I always think about her, Yet this time was different. This time I could actually feel the weight of her in my arms again. I even could feel how soft her skin was, A truly beautiful moment that I am glad I got to have again. How striking these moments can be, I was truly taken back to May 18, 2012

The pain is always there yet this time I was overcome with the beauty of the birth of my daughter. I truly wish there was some other way to have these moments. To have her in my arms would be the greatest gift of all.