As I look back on Skylar's birth I am filled with so many regrets. Not on having her, For that I will never have any regrets. Not even if God chose to keep Skylar in heaven I would not ever regret having her. She was a pure joy to be pregnant with, I will never forget how she liked to lay on my left side. I will love her forever, I wish everyone could have got to hold her and love her as much as we do. She is now our guardian angel and will be keeping us safe instead of the other way around.
I sometimes feel cheated with Skylar's death, She was my baby and I wanted to hold her forever. I guess in one way I do. She is in my heart forever and one day we will be together forever.
Some days I get questions in my head that I would love to know. Did Skylar know how much she was wanted and loved? Did she know she was the most wanted baby? Especially after having 4 boys and finally another little girl to add to our family. Another baby to love, I love her name Skylar Jean, such a beautiful name for such a beautiful baby. One who is forever missed and forever loved.
The previous post was written a few days ago and I still wanted to share it with this post.
Today I recieved a true calling from God, I feel so strong about sharing a message of his love with everyone. I have never felt like this before and I know this is God wanting to share his good news with everyone.
There is never a time he is not with us, I know he was holding our hands and our hearts when we found out Skylar was gone. I know that without a doubt, He knows the innermost workings of our hearts and he knew how awful we were going to feel about losing her. The pain of losing your child is indescribable, Then to go on and have to birth your child is something I will never forget. I know Jesus was with us holding us as we held our beautiful angel baby. She was too perfect for this earth and we should rejoice in the fact that she will never know pain or hurt, Just Love. She was loved while she was being knit together in my womb. It is amazing the strength God has given us during this time. I was sure when the doctor told me that Skylar was gone, I was sure I was going to be crazy. At times maybe it feels like I am, Yet I know God will never leave or forsake me and he is with me when the tears are coming more and more and don't know when to stop. I woke up today with the emptiness that comes with losing your child. I feel this everyday, Yet today was a little worse as I watched maternity ward on DHC and saw newborn babies and it came flooding back to me about Skylar. I will never see her grow from a baby into a toddler then into a child a preteen teenager then adult. I will remember my little well not so little daughter. She will be my forever baby, Always with me and never leaving my side. I would honestly give everything I have to have her here with us. That is why I am giving God the one thing I know he wants more than anything. Me!
I want to share some scriptures with everyone that will hopefully share God message of love with you all.
I credit all scriptures to the Bible and the one I am using is the New King James Version and Life Principals Bible with interpertations by Dr. Charles Stanley. I suggest to you all this bible as it really is great at interpertaing God's word and really teaching you what the bible is saying. * I am in no way associated with the Dr. Charles Stanley and In Touch Ministrys, Just found this bible and really like it*
Forgiveness and Prayer Mark 11:25:26
25: And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone forgive him, that your father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.
26: But if you do not forgive, neither will your father in heaven forgive your tresspasses
Blessings of those who fear the lord.
Blessed us everone who fears the Lord. Who walks in his ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you will be happy and it shall be well with you.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine. In the heart of your house, Your children will be like a olive plants All around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed, who fears the Lord.
The Lord Bless you out of Zion, and may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Yes, May you see your childrens children.
Peace be upon Isreal!
Now I really want to ask that you all take the time to study God's word and really learn what he wants from you. He wants and needs a relationship with us, so that we can grow with him. I pray right that you may find my words and those of God's to be healing and a blessing to you. I want to share his message of Love and Hope with everyone. I pray that you all learn to walk in the ways of the Lord and become a christain and be saved and all you have to do is ask God to come into your heart and to turn from sin and read the words God has left for us here in the bible.
May God Bless You All
Thank you for reading about my journey with Skylar and with God.