Today has been a very hard day for me, I am sure has been very hard for your Daddy as well. We should be celebrating your first Father's Day with us. Instead we are with your brother's and sister's missing you. While we are blessed in having them and having you, We are also very sad you are not with us. Some days are easier than other's for both of us. I think for me it is the whole unknown questions that eat at me. I wish I had answer's yet I don't, Hopefully we will get more answers. When I get to missing Skylar I rub my hands on her blanket and it makes me feel more connected to her. I know she was sent here for a reason and I do believe for myself that God has brought us closer to him at this time. It feels wonderful to have a closer relationship with him. I think it also has made me a better person, I am becoming less judgemental and willing to be more accepting of people. I am grateful for that, I also think it has helped me to not be so materialistic. I always wanted the "rich" type stuff.
The Juicy Couture purse, The Coach purse which sits unused on my dresser. Wanting what I could not afford. Yet wanting all these material things. That now hold no meaning whatsoever to me. I wish I could have seen that before. My eyes were clouded over with greed and selfishness that could only be overcome by God's help. He sent our Skylar to help open our eyes, I will keep them wide open now instead of being so close minded. She was a special gift that I wish I could have kept. Such a beautiful little baby. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and long for her. I love Skylar so much, She is a special baby and always will be. I found this quote from the book "Love You Forever by Robert Munsch" It goes perfectly with how I feel about Skylar. "I love forever, I like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be" This book was dedicated to the author's own two children who were stillborn.
To end this post I am going to say a very special Happy Father's Day to my wonderful husband. Without you I am nothing, you are so very special and you will never know how very much you mean to me and our children. You have been the very best help thru all of this and I could not have made it this far without you. I love you forever and always will.